Stealth

I can say with some confidence that 3 months (almost) of inactivity have turned me into what i truly am: nocturnal. "Maggot Brain" by Funkadelic playing in the background. I may have admitted to detesting funk in the past; I have my inconsistencies.

I admit it. I furious at you, my readers. I have no right to be but everyone is entitled to his/ her share of misdirected anger. Do you know why i keep a counter on my blog? To appease the timid, attention-seeking, embarrassed chihuahua (Chi) in me. For the record, I hate chihuahuas. My Chi would be dejected but peaceful if there were no people reading it at all. I know there are lots of people reading my posts because I'm certain no one is so crazy about my blog or me to reload it a dozen times every day. Nah. no one is that crazy. I am not.

I'm staring into absolute darkness and i know many pairs of eyes are trained on me, watching, observing, recording, judging. I can't assign these eyes to faces or names. Hell, i can't see the eyes to begin with. This is what blogging is like occasionally. It irritates my Chi and consequently, me.

I was brought up in a small township. The people were not bad at all when it came to leaving others alone but it was awful as far as resources, supplies and exposure were concerned. We did have everything technology had to offer as years slid by. Born a Hindu, I stopped believing in active worship when i was 6 years old. At 12, I was an atheist. Only, i didn't see the point in being vocal about it, simply because my parents let me be me.

Books were with me. The colors, fonts and sizes changed with the stories they held in them. Just like the people i let be my friends for a while; always for a while. People never stick. Books always do because they don't talk. A lot like god, if you think about it. I learned about the world. All I could read and remember, I did. I also have turned out to be one who's driven by curiosity and wants to know at least a little about everything in the world and also wants to be good at many things. I don't know which fed what, which was the egg: books or curiosity. Today they both are fully-grown hens that will die the day I do.

Why all this bullshit today? I'm only telling you why I get irritated that i don't know who my readers are and also telling you how the reason came into being one.

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Ha! I didn't digress at all today. Amazing. Meanwhile, remember this: I'm addicted to lip balm. If I'm ever made to quit, I ll need to be put in a rehab center. Some place with lawns, books, music and handsome doctors.