Friday, April 22, 2011

Romeo a.k.a. Guhan

Long long ago (2008), my friend Gayathri chanced upon Romeo. He first laid his eyes on her orkut profile when gayu n me were still in high school. And he at once fell for her. He loved her truly even though he didnt even know what she looked like or sounded like. A love so pure. I have reproduced his love emails sent to her late 2008. I swear on science that I've altered nothing.
For readers who do not know Tamil:
"chellam" means darling/sweetheart. "jollu" essentially means to drool; in this context it is to drool over someone.

Mail 1:
am not so cute and so bad,i think i am
enough with r u dear?even i dont know y i like to talk with u.but
my heart loves u.i am very glucky person to have friendship with
u.inneyveli were is ur house?my name guhan doing c.s at house in near cbs busstand.when i say truely i have no
many girl friends.only u have google talk?were is ur house in
neyveli.i am very fond of meeting u.if u like we can meet or leave u
r from my city i am very eager to meet u dear gayu.wat r u doing?now r u
staying in chennai?mobile no. is 9791701477 u call to this no. and ask to
talk with guhan.we can talk.waiting for ur call dear.dont cheat me.pls
gayu.shal i call u chellam?bcz i like to call as same.with love

Mail 2:
how r u dear?wat is there in my scrap to u.i have not wrote any
heart loves u means dont think me wrong i coming to tell that i like r u?how is ur face?can u send me a photo pls photo will be
displayed in orkut soon.ok.i may not be cute.but my heart is cute.even u
hate me,if u saw me.u may avoid to talk even.anyhow i like to be ur
friend.were is ur housew in neyveli.when will u bye own mobile?atleast call
me monthly thrice from any other pone pls.beg u dear.i not know why i like
u.but when i scrap u and mail u i became very happy not know why.that
means wat?sy straight u like me?love
me?means u like me.dont get angry.tell truely from ur heart .waiting for
u.pls shall we meet one tim alone pls.beg u dear.send me ur photo to my
mail.if u like me truely.

Mail 3:
chellam enda reply panla?how r u?i love u da?wat r u doing dear?waiting for
ur reply.then u love me?tell me straight.ok.waiting dear,.

However, Juliet never returned Guhan's love; Not even to one email. sniff.
Buy, everyone.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

What do men think?

I went out today evening to buy some supplies and a fried chicken take-away .. To celebrate the successful completion of my third mid-semester tests .. So i'm looking at this pretty big billboard for Jockey .. There's a handsome model lying across on a bed in tidy-whities .. And then i think, who is this ad catering to?

When women browse through a lingerie catalog, we're looking at the undergarment advertised .. We keenly observe what sort of support it would provide .. Whether its available only in cotton or do they have a line in silk, lace, etc .. We look at the price; the higher it is, the happier we are .. But, of course if you're a not-rich college student and you're going through a La Perla catalog, the $350+ tags will bring ur moods down .. But still you wonder how wonderful La Perla must be (i do) ..

Now let's take men .. Only for about the past 2 decades, the metro-sexual attitude is beginning to get to men .. I'm not thrilled about it but its nice to date a man who takes just about more than 5 mins when he's getting ready for a date (Yes, ka .. you :P ) .. Real worry is when they join you for mani-pedis ..

Anyways, coming back to my chosen topic for today, I was genuinely puzzled how the ad was gonna make more men buy their underwear .. Given how majority of India's or at least, Tanjore's male demographic is straight, i really do not understand how the handsome model can do the job he is intended for .. When we women see a beautiful model wearing something, we almost always want it cos we somehow delude ourselves into believing that we too would look as pretty as the model if we bought n wore the dress .. But i'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way for men ..

So what i wanna know is if that billboard would make a man want to buy that underwear.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Eddie #4 - Cocktail Dress

(Xo is doing her make-up at the dressing table as Xo sits on the bed and looks at her dreamily.)

Xo: Hey how was that indian restaurant you went with your colleagues today?
Xo: Oh .. Horrible, actually .. Remember how i was longing to have idly? Well the chutney ...
Xo: What about it?
Xo: it had a very nasty color. Tasted like tomato but looked disgusting.
Xo: Color? weird ..
Xo: Yeah .. it was ummm .. Hey it was the color of the dress you're wearing!
Xo: I'm wearing this to the party tonight.
Xo: Beautiful, honey.
Xo: Yeah. Right.