Thursday, December 15, 2011

Time To Be Merry

In the mad rush to complete my applications for graduate programs at universities in the USA. Don't judge me. A combination of factors led to my applying this late. Apparently, the saying "It's never too late" has serious limitations.

Anyway, I completely forgot about Christmas. I was honestly perplexed when i saw most universities close down for the holidays starting from December 20 or so. Sigh. I shouldn't really be sighing. I'm a pig who got 3 months of holidays before i have to rejoin my final semester.

I'm gonna sleep now. I ll put up something worth reading this weekend. Muax. Bye!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Eddie #007 - Issues with Memory

(Xo had lost his wallet for the Nth time and with it his credit cards. Xo was angry.)

Xo: I'm sick of this! How can you be so irresponsible and absent-minded? You went to the supermarket and just walked out without it? Hows that possible!
Xo: Give it a rest, will you? People lose stuff
Xo: Not people, you!
Xo: Listen .. There wasn't much cash .. and i ll get new cards in a week .. Credit cards are made keeping in mind that people will lose them ..
Xo: You don't see me losing stuff .. EVER .. The last thing i lost was my watch when i was eleven
Xo: Sucky Liar! The last thing you lost was your virginity!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

A personal note.

Stuff i want to accomplish in 3 years; In order of priority.

# Become strong enough to take part in any amateur adventure sport including rock climbing.
# Learn hip-hop
# Learn to play the piano
# Learn some pole-dancing moves. (my motives is in no way financial gain)
# Go to Mexico
# Watch a Formula 1 race
# Learn to bake beautifully

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

To Life

One of those times again .. I came upon the following quotes yesterday .. Thot i'd log em here

Here's to a long life and a merry one

A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
Irish Saying

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth.
Chinese Proverb

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.
Reba McEntire

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.
Charles Dickens
Our Mutual Friend.

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Winston Churchill

Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Author Unknown

Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans.
John Lennon
Beautiful Boy

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
Jack Handey

Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.
Charles Schulz

Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Author Unknown

That it will never come again Is what makes life so sweet.
Emily Dickinson

Here is a test to find out whether your mission in life is complete.
If you're alive, it isn't.
Richard Bach

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Eddie #6 - I seriously doubt it

Xo and Xo are walking. It's a balmy afternoon and the gift shop is a couple minutes away. They're talking of the seemingly nonsensical stand religion takes against abortion. They pass a clinic.

Xo: So these people would perform abortions, right? They don't seem to be christian.
Xo: Who? The fertility and IVF clinic we just passed?
Xo: Yeah .. They ought to have OB-GYNs in there ..
Xo: I'm sure the doctors paid to impreganate people will be more than happy to abort a pregnancy.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Eddie #5 - Thank God

Xo and Xo had just had a terrible fight. Xo was jealous of Xo's new colleague but wouldn't admit it. Accordingly to him, this new guy was hitting on his darling Xo. In the end, however Xo apologized for his stupidity and Xo told him she'd forgive him. They made up and en-cashed the best sex coupon of a relationship: Make-up sex.

And it was so good
Xo couldn't keep from screaming "Oh God!" time and again. Fifteen minutes later n Xo lies on the bed panting while Xo bunches up the sheets about her and gets up. And as she makes her exit, Xo hears her say, "Good that you know God doesn't exist or you'd accuse me of cheating on you with God!"

Xo (to himself) : And who the fuck ever told me sex makes problems go away!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

I am Pro-Choice

Disclaimer: I do not hate children.

Most of my peers don't seem to care about childbirth/motherhood related issues. Why should they? They're at least a couple of years away from getting pregnant, assuming they marry an arranged match. As much time as most girls of my age (i'm 20) spend talking about who's-going-out-with-who, no one really has an opinion on abortion. Many don't even realize that there's a global stigma surrounding this word and what it stands for.

A friend of mine chipped in saying that for most Indian girls, pre-marital sex is itself off the table and consequently, abortion would be an alien territory. I agree with him to a certain extent. Only someone who's been faced with the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy can even begin to have an opinion on abortion.

I get fairly agitated whenever people take a pro-life stand from a religious point of view. Take Christianity for example; Mankind's only significant goal in life as the many christians i've known have conveyed is procreation. So we built bridges, landed on the moon so we could all have babies? Recently, i happen to read this post by a female acquaintance on facebook; liked by about 5 women i know. Check it out yourself.

Let's take a look at the situation in the usa. There are people burning down federal-funded abortion centers; Catholic hospitals don't house abortive pills. So if you're unfortunate to get raped and a samaritan (read: smart ass) gets you admitted to a catholic hospital, you will not be given an abortive pill as a precaution. If you do end up getting pregnant with your rapist's child, then too bad darlin' cos there ain't a damn thing they'll do.

India still happens to remain fairly neutral on abortion. Even though pregnancy out of wedlock is largely frowned upon, at least women in India still retain the right to their own bodies. However, what bothers me is that many young women today claim to be pro-life without any meditation.
In a country of recurrent female foeticides and infanticides, abortion by consent is a ray of hope for women who do not want to ruin their future and the offspring's as well. A summary ban on abortion would leave thousands of women stripped of one of their last remaining rights as a woman; India being a male-dominated country.

Unplanned teenage pregnancy is because of unprotected sex or improper contraceptive measures. A large section of people suggest abstinence. I don't really see the relevance. I say i broke the vase and people tell me i should not have broken it the first place? You fix a problem with a solution. There's no going back in time.

Bottomline: Get educated, Ladies.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Few Things I'd Like the Govt to Do

Indian politics has always amused me. It's an overt inside-joke; A joke that millions fight and kill over. Some things i'd love the Indian government to do:

#1 - Quoting xyz, "I think mosquitoes should be made our national insect; Then the government will try to protect them and they will become extinct."
Macchar bachao andolan!

#2 - The government should pass a law that orders forceful female infanticide. The census of 2011 shows a sex ratio of 914:1000 (female:male), down from 933 in 2001. Already, there's talk of men in punjab not being able to find suitable brides given their dwindling sex ratio. My suggestion is sound; Given how much i detest sexism. I honestly feel India should go to doom for this. I'd like to see zero indian women in india. It'd then be a spectacle to watch how men procreate and go on to create "Men"

#3 - Ban alcohol in Tamil Nadu. I'm fuckin sick of seeing stinky, dirty tasmac shops housing cheap liquor with a cake of dust covering them. Also sick of the uncouth bastards who get insanely drunk and go around town puking their bowels out! I don't care .. Let 'em drink the toddy shit and die .. We could do with a few less mendacious dirt bags

#4 - Ban dupattas. Silly, i agree but i'm Fed Up of donning them every day! .. So i bare my breasts to the world .. What do u care? STFU, Watch and Enjoy (or don't look. As you see fit.)

#5 - Ban plastic. Anything from bags to buckets to bakelite. We Idiots obviously do not know how to dispose of them. We light em and watch em burn.

#6 - Adopt the eye-for-an-eye law. Man, would there be a lot of eunuchs walking around.

#7 - Ban the Indian versions of Vogue and Marie Claire. Women here don't want to spend 100 bucks on a bra .. And they have Rohit Bal discussing his avant-garde line

Thats about it for now.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Romeo a.k.a. Guhan

Long long ago (2008), my friend Gayathri chanced upon Romeo. He first laid his eyes on her orkut profile when gayu n me were still in high school. And he at once fell for her. He loved her truly even though he didnt even know what she looked like or sounded like. A love so pure. I have reproduced his love emails sent to her late 2008. I swear on science that I've altered nothing.
For readers who do not know Tamil:
"chellam" means darling/sweetheart. "jollu" essentially means to drool; in this context it is to drool over someone.

Mail 1:
am not so cute and so bad,i think i am
enough with r u dear?even i dont know y i like to talk with u.but
my heart loves u.i am very glucky person to have friendship with
u.inneyveli were is ur house?my name guhan doing c.s at house in near cbs busstand.when i say truely i have no
many girl friends.only u have google talk?were is ur house in
neyveli.i am very fond of meeting u.if u like we can meet or leave u
r from my city i am very eager to meet u dear gayu.wat r u doing?now r u
staying in chennai?mobile no. is 9791701477 u call to this no. and ask to
talk with guhan.we can talk.waiting for ur call dear.dont cheat me.pls
gayu.shal i call u chellam?bcz i like to call as same.with love

Mail 2:
how r u dear?wat is there in my scrap to u.i have not wrote any
heart loves u means dont think me wrong i coming to tell that i like r u?how is ur face?can u send me a photo pls photo will be
displayed in orkut soon.ok.i may not be cute.but my heart is cute.even u
hate me,if u saw me.u may avoid to talk even.anyhow i like to be ur
friend.were is ur housew in neyveli.when will u bye own mobile?atleast call
me monthly thrice from any other pone pls.beg u dear.i not know why i like
u.but when i scrap u and mail u i became very happy not know why.that
means wat?sy straight u like me?love
me?means u like me.dont get angry.tell truely from ur heart .waiting for
u.pls shall we meet one tim alone pls.beg u dear.send me ur photo to my
mail.if u like me truely.

Mail 3:
chellam enda reply panla?how r u?i love u da?wat r u doing dear?waiting for
ur reply.then u love me?tell me straight.ok.waiting dear,.

However, Juliet never returned Guhan's love; Not even to one email. sniff.
Buy, everyone.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

What do men think?

I went out today evening to buy some supplies and a fried chicken take-away .. To celebrate the successful completion of my third mid-semester tests .. So i'm looking at this pretty big billboard for Jockey .. There's a handsome model lying across on a bed in tidy-whities .. And then i think, who is this ad catering to?

When women browse through a lingerie catalog, we're looking at the undergarment advertised .. We keenly observe what sort of support it would provide .. Whether its available only in cotton or do they have a line in silk, lace, etc .. We look at the price; the higher it is, the happier we are .. But, of course if you're a not-rich college student and you're going through a La Perla catalog, the $350+ tags will bring ur moods down .. But still you wonder how wonderful La Perla must be (i do) ..

Now let's take men .. Only for about the past 2 decades, the metro-sexual attitude is beginning to get to men .. I'm not thrilled about it but its nice to date a man who takes just about more than 5 mins when he's getting ready for a date (Yes, ka .. you :P ) .. Real worry is when they join you for mani-pedis ..

Anyways, coming back to my chosen topic for today, I was genuinely puzzled how the ad was gonna make more men buy their underwear .. Given how majority of India's or at least, Tanjore's male demographic is straight, i really do not understand how the handsome model can do the job he is intended for .. When we women see a beautiful model wearing something, we almost always want it cos we somehow delude ourselves into believing that we too would look as pretty as the model if we bought n wore the dress .. But i'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way for men ..

So what i wanna know is if that billboard would make a man want to buy that underwear.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Eddie #4 - Cocktail Dress

(Xo is doing her make-up at the dressing table as Xo sits on the bed and looks at her dreamily.)

Xo: Hey how was that indian restaurant you went with your colleagues today?
Xo: Oh .. Horrible, actually .. Remember how i was longing to have idly? Well the chutney ...
Xo: What about it?
Xo: it had a very nasty color. Tasted like tomato but looked disgusting.
Xo: Color? weird ..
Xo: Yeah .. it was ummm .. Hey it was the color of the dress you're wearing!
Xo: I'm wearing this to the party tonight.
Xo: Beautiful, honey.
Xo: Yeah. Right.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Dimpled Einstein (D.E.)

In his late 20s, he's tall, slim, agile and has dimpled cheeks. He teaches us DSP. I make very few personal references in my blog but this man just had to be written about in my blog for lack of a better and far-reaching medium.

The Dumb Fuck managed to rub me the wrong way and 110 other students as well. His highly questionable English has taken a turn for the worse this semester. If last year saw his sentences interspersed with "okay"s at the rate of 6-7 per min, this year has exposed us to his "listen carefully" before the beginning of every sentence.
And mind you, his source is almost always the internet; So much so, he recommended we use the site '' to understand dsp better. What's the site's USP according to our Dimpled Einstein? The damn url contains the word "guru" in it.
However, his mispronunciations are the best thing in the world. I've listed some of the recurrent ones.

D.E. says:__________________It really means:
Sexan convolusan - - - - - - > Section Convolution
China Cars - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - > Sine or Cos
Sifting Property - - - - - - - - - > Shifting Property
Pas ban - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - > Pass-Band
Stowband - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - > Stop-Band
Dissorsan - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - > Distortion
Casual System - - - - - - - - - - - - > Causal System

To add to this shit, he makes us take 1.5hr long tests designed to be written in 2.5hrs

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Eddie #3 - Sweet Treats

It's Sunday morning and Xo woke up early to make breakfast-- Spicy scrambled eggs and sauteed mushrooms . Lovingly she calls up the stairs to Xo so as to wake him up.
Xo: Baby .. Breakfast's ready .. Wake up, honey
(No reply)
Xo: Sugarpop .. pumpkin pie .. Wake up
(No reply)
Xo: Come on down, sweetie pie, hot muffins .. !
Xo comes stomping down the stairs, indignant)
Xo: You Have No Right to lure me out of my sleep promising sweet treats!
(He walks into the kitchen closely followed by
Xo: And you haven't made any!!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Random Update

Abandoned my blog again .. tut tut .. Anyways, i got my hair cut .. pretty short this time .. and i kinda like it .. thinking of coloring it a fiery red -black .. Haven't felt convicted to write anything for a long time .. i have some loud music playing on my 2.1ch .. it's about 12am here and i don't care if I'm disturbing the ppl around my room .. And a friend earlier today dedicated a song to me .. "Re Offender" by Travis .. And boy was i offended! .. Anyways fuck that
Ciao, ppl

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Respect, Honor, Dignity, Death

Death is the inevitable, irrevocable end all of us are breathing towards; As endlessly numbered our days may seem to be.

I largely believe that death is hugely over-rated and life taken for granted way too much too many times. So much has the novelty quotient of death risen that people use it as blackmail. Those who habitually get their way by threatening to die, honor and value their life only as much as one playing playing Russian roulette.
Like any teenager, I've contemplated suicide in the past. Of those dire moments, i recall how and why i chose to live. More than how painful death would be for me, for my kin and beyond the question of "what lies yonder?", what bothered me most about death is how I'd cease to live, cease to breathe and cease to feel heat and cold; Death did not seem worth giving up all the above and still does not.

Touching upon the theory of "life after death", it's one vortex one should wisely avoid. For all we know, there is nothing on the other side. We never wonder what happens to a fruit fly when it dies and what happens to the now dead dog. I'd doubt it if nature would treat a human being's demise with any less indifference than it would a dog's. Hence it's only sensible to understand we unnecessarily over-rate our death. It may well be as insignificant as any creature's. The only beings one demise affects are those who were fond of the now deceased.

We didn't ask to be born; Just sit through the ride and try enjoying yourself as often as possible and as much as possible and you ll realize all your woes are worth those moments of utter glee;