Saturday, January 16, 2010

Almost Worthless. Almost.

Real Date: July 16, 2011.

Today, in fact until a few minutes, i wanted to die. I've mentioned before that my desire to live life exceeds everything else. Today it didn't. Today the reason was the memory of my mother; The only person whose life i actually affect, affect it enough to make me love her as much as i do.

I'm fat and ugly at times but she continues to love me.
There have been times when i hurt her, really bad but she continues to love me.
There have been times when she hurt me, real bad but i continue to love her.

Last time she recalled how when i was born to her, i was the most beautiful and smartest and not to forget, the most responsive doll she'd ever been presented with. She took it as her life's goal to educate me, to enlighten me, to strengthen me in a world which largely enervates you.

I cried after reading "The French Lover" by Taslima Nazrin. I felt so bad for the mother in the book. I go out of my way to not ever treat my mother that way. I'm not always successful; For all those times, i'm so sorry. I love you, mamma. Love you truly. You saved me again, today. Muax :)

It's because of her i have dreams today, i aspire to live life; She introduced me to the concept of ambition and living life. She's seen a lot in her life; It's so uncanny that i'm able to smell her aloo parathas right now even though she's miles and miles away from me. Today the group of kids she's trained to dance for a folk song are performing today. She sounded happy today. I love it when she's happy. I love my mother.

About the title, it's about my life.